Picture This: Overview (or part one)

I remember hearing that after the humongous implosion in our marriage relationship in 2017.

Picture this: newborn baby, first time mom, and a "workaholic" husband who was working at the wrong thing unaffiliated with clocking in and out for his employers to dictate what could and could not, and should and should not be done at their place of business. McDonald's. Also picture the new mom being afraid to stay home alone with a newborn because, duh, it was all brand new to her, and the philandering husband offers for a random employee to come over to help care for the baby. (This employee was actually his mistress from work with whom he'd made plans and started a family - she was pregnant. Somehow I wasn't allowed to be privy to these plans because, of course, they had nothing to do with me and I would "have to accept the baby if I wanted to be" with the philandering husband. Now, fast forward to late Winter 2021, and on the surface, everything seemed to be okay. I was going full throttle for my husband in the sex department - somewhat reminiscent of how things were back in the very beginning of our marriage. Out of the 7 days in the week, 4-5 of those days left us sweaty and panting, yet wanting to more. Then, nearly 4 years almost to the date of the first implosion (February 2017 vs. Feb/March 2021), I found evidence - tangible, expensive evidence - proving my lukewarm suspicions true. He was back at CHEATING in a major way.

Picture this: Tuesdays were his off day - still are - and used for travelling, meeting up, or inviting some ex-gf from high school for sexcapades. Right. While I'm at work, teaching the future leaders of tomorrow, he went from slanging cars to slanging his penis around South Georgia and North Florida. What's the best way to do that? UNPROTECTED!!! (See where this going?) All black Michael Kors watch - $450 Custom made hard bottom dress shoes - $250 Endless lies, gaslighting, and blame-shifting - $$$$$$ This guy was all in with what he was doing, and he didn't find a single thing wrong with it. At least he was committed to the lies he told to her, her, and the other her. He was committed to the lies he told himself daily. He was committed to sneaking, hiding, lying, deceiving, manipulating, gaslighting, and fronting for the world - he wasn't committed to me. He wasn't committed to his family - the two children + the affair child, the wife [me] of 8.5 years (at the time), the life we'd worked hard to build together - dude was all and all about himself. The same man who would "never put us back into that type of situation again". He was somewhat truthful there. He didn't have anyone pregnant at that moment - as far as I know - and neither was I. [Thank you Dr. Sharon and team for the Liletta y'all installed!] Still, he lied, cheated, manipulated, deceived, and so on...[insert your verb choice here]. This indiscretion was the straw that sipped the last drop from and called it quits. [No, not right away, but it was the means to an end for me.] I was completely over it, and this time, there was no depression, tears, stress. There was some back and forth, mainly to see if he would honor his promise of therapy, sex addiction counseling, etc. Needless to say, his excuses beat his actions and - SPOILER ALERT: we are divorced! - I stood firm on my decision to leave him where he was. The new phrase now is "he/she for the streets"; that what he is about - serving the streets good loving while still trying to have a "home". Not with me. Not ever again. I'm from the hood - the ghetto - the country. But I didn't serve up enough drama for him, so I guess he went where he could get that sort of attention between waring parties. Exactly! Me? Fight over a dude? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Picture this: FREEDOM. For the first time in years, I haven't had to wonder, worry, or question anything resembling a man, a marriage, or my sanity. I've been able to breathe and just be. My smiles are fully genuine and from my heart. My laughter is just like honey on the biggest, fluffiest, dreamiest biscuits. My thoughts are getting better and more positive than ever before. 

That's a picture worth taking in...

**Part 2 coming soon**

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