Grief Comes in Waves

*Note: I started this particular blog post 104 days ago, and I've debated whether or not I should finish and post or let it go. Since you're reading this, you know my choice.*

Today marks the last day of the last month of 2022, and for many, the new year is welcomed with the infinite promises of new beginnings and good things. For others, it's a begrudging reminder of who won't be with us in this new year. With time, we learn to adapt and blindly move on from the experiences of the last 365 days; for some, it's twice or thrice as many.

Even then, nothing or no one can dictate or control where, or when, or what, or how the grip of grief will squeeze just so; it does and though choices are few on what to do, making the best choice is important. Even with short notice.

Grief comes in waves. Small like breaking waves slapping against each other as they approach the shore. High like the crescendo of tidal waves - curling and then crashing with roars that even frightens the very waters creating the phenom. And no matter how it comes, grief ALWAYS tips in silently and leaves noisily in the wake if it's disruption. 

Grief is never invited in or asked for by name, yet it comes like its RSVP is eternal and it's invited to the BBQ as a friend of the family. Never that. Yet, somehow, grief stalks around waiting for the chance - convenient or not - to flip a table and wash away whatever progress thought to have been made. You know how it is when life keeps going and you have to jump back on that train and carry on as though nothing happened. Normal day, right? Normal doesn't exist when things change so drastically from what or how they once were. Since grief is not specific to circumstances, it doesn't matter the why...all that matters is that it hurts and there's no pain like losing love, then grieving it.

Someone said that it's better to have loved and loss, than to never have loved at all. Maybe. Truth is, sometimes because of love, the drive to put as much distance between self and that which caused us pain, sends one on a journey of making false progress like being stuck behind a train after four left turns and no detour. It's hard to get away when memories keep pulling you back to remind you that they were once there, then POOF! Grief. Reality. The stings of love and loss....

There's no preparing for grief - neither before nor after -  you just deal. Sometimes just dealing borderlines impossible. Sometimes we throw ourselves back into our normal daily routine, keeping busy to avoid our truest realities of who/what is no longer "there". And while it seems to work for a spell, grief is the sneakiest, cruelest, and often the most menacing of villains on journeys of overcoming.

TO BE CONTINUED...